Being a solo mum – part time – full time – how to survive!
Thanks to the Face Book Community at www.facebook.com/babysleepconsultantnz for these awesome tips on surviving being a solo mum.
Part time – full time – any time – wrestling kids is hard work and doing it alone is even harder. Enjoy these tips.
My husband is away a lot from when our fist daughter was 8 weeks and for long stretches. Can be hard but sometimes it’s easier when they are away 😊 as you find you do get yourself into a rhythm and its only you and the kids to keep happy. Prepare some meals to freeze, but with just me, I found it easier to feed the kids and then get them to bed and enjoy a meal heated up by myself later on. Spaghetti on toast is okay for kids some nights!
Plan out your two weeks with some outings and activities so you don’t feel too stranded by yourself (that can be the hardest if find you don’t see or talk to other adults in the two weeks!). Go to bed as soon as you feel you can and read/relax – again I find I have a lot more time in the evening when hubby is away.
Also I actually find the kids are calmer in the evening without Dad to wind them up – lol. So it is hard, but its not all bad. Ask for extra help from family and friends if you can.
I agree! my husband is also away a lot and it can be easier like you said, you get into a routine that suits you. And make sure you get out of the house sometimes.
preparation is the key – have some meals in the freezer to make the evenings go a little easier – and arrange everything the night before so when you get up breakfast is ready to go
I also find it easier in a way when hubby is not here (as much as I love him) You might find the kids are settled (no playing between parents) I just get stuck in and do it. Have a nice little routine going and get them to bed on time then enjoy me time. Hey; its 1 less person to pick up after and wash clothes for.
Don't stress….so wat if the house is a mess and u hav pj days…all good. Enjoy ur time with ur wee bubs x
to remember it is okay to accept help from family members and friends
When it all turns to custard put loud dance music on and sing, dance and go a little crazy – the kids will stop whinging/crying in surprise & you will feel a bit of light relief.
Am currently living this with 5 kids, youngest just turned 8 weeks… We’ve got 3 months of it :-/ Tackle one day at a time! Make sure you write things down – too easy to forget otherwise, have some friends who’s house you can just turn up at if it all gets to be too much, write a list in an obvious place of stuff that needs doing so if someone comes round and offers help you can point them in the right direction.
I’m finding it hardest to get to bed at a sensible time – there is just stuff that has to be done before you can go to bed! Be kind to yourself if stuff doesn’t work out how you planned, tomorrow is another day.
Oh, and my life saver has been an excellent baby carrier! Sometimes you just gotta get stuff done (like cook dinner!) so I just strap on the baby and away I go – I discovered you can mash potatoes while wearing a babe 😉
Dont try an be a supermum. Be a mum an enjoy your child, let the vacumming wait or do one chore a day. Put washing on at night ready to be hung in the morning. Dont forget to accept offers if help.
Planning planning planning! Hang the washing up at night, so you have more time in the morning
As a full time solo mum to a 1 year old id have to agree with Janine – preparation is def key …. just remember to put one foot in the other and only focus on the important stuff other things can wait …
Chocolate. Letting some things go and actually it does mean one less ‘child’ to clean up after. Plus I can just have eggs on toast for tea if I want and feed the child tinned spag and no one ever knows or complains there is no meat on the plate!
Use the online shopping supermarket !!! Saves heaps of time – and no need to get kids into supermarket
My partner is off for three weeks on Monday too! I have all my meals and baby food in the freezer already so that’s one less thing I have to do. I also have a few play dates planned so I have some social/adult time. I’m fortunate to have both mothers willing to help out if I need a break! The hardest thing for me will be not being able to call him to bring me things (eg milk) home after work (we live out of town) – I will need to be more organised! Good luck
Make sure you get enough sleep – and a little me time if you can!
My hubby is away 2-3 nights per week and I work full time. Basically I don’t cook on week nights full stop. I have different size frozen portions depending on how many eating. Defrost in fridge night before. Online shopping good but pick up cheaper. Don’t do jobs twice – clean what you can as you go but otherwise do it at end of day. I ‘reset’ the house every night and
Oh and I eat with toddler, bath with so im not doing things twice over.
Routine! Reward yourself (takeaway coffee/muffin etc) & relax when you can. If someone can take the kids for a few hours one day a week spend an hour straightening the house then relax, even if the house isnt perfect 😊
My hubby works out of town most days and if home is not home till 7 ish after the hard work is done. So get children to help if poss do tea when bubs in bed and eat together, just do one lot of dishes. Don’t worry about the state of the house. Go out!
If you have a mum available and or a sister without kids make as much use of them as you can! My hubby hands been away 17 days and I have 14 to go. My mum stats with me some of the time and is a tremendous help. My sister is also around a bit. Definitely take each day as it comes.
I’ve been trying to get to do online shopping this week but haven’t even had time to do that! That woman with 5 kids is legendary! I also found doing sleep training has helped heaps. It’s not easy doing it alone but it’s better than other times hubby has been away! Best of luck and be comforted that you are not the only one. I sure am comforted in that reading these posts.
i hate the idea of online shopping, it is always something i enjoy doing – it gets me out of the house, sees people, no cabin fever..lol, it’s the putting away that i hate… def do a babysitter,
Pre cook meals but remember it is perfectly fine for the kids to watch television all day and have toast for tea if it’s a rough day. Take it easy on yourself and lower you expectations. Done that? Lower them again!
Be organised! Wash clothes at night prepping for the next morning and spend 30 mins at night cleaning up the living room/kitchen. Its amazing how much better you feel the next day getting up to a clean house. Spend the rest of the evening resting.
Be organized! Pre plan your menus, makes life much easier 😊 good luck!
Definitely do online shopping its saved my life! Also dont think about the 2 weeks just do one day and then one more and if you get overwhelmed take a long drive with favorite cd.
Be sure to get out of the house for social time, playdates or playgroup or whatever.
And maybe invest in a babysitter for one night so you can do something for you!
I have three kids wk full time and play solo mum on and off all the time. Support networks. A nice glass of wine at the end of the week. And as nike says just do it.
Preparation and being organised! Getting early nights when you can 😊 my husband just got back from two months away. You do get the swing of it
Preparation is the key
Organisation! My partner is a shift worker. If you stay on top of your game then it will run like clock work. Simply just keep going, in the end, you don’t really have a choice. Sounds harsh but it’s the way. You will do a great job on your own, have some confidence 😊
arrange someone can come over gives you a hand every now and then, get shopping done before he set off. things will work out, you will surprise how strong and incredible you are.
Go to bed a little earlier and be super organised. Don’t leave things till morning if you can pre- do them, good luck and the busier you are the faster it goes!!
Get Hubby to help either cook meals for freezer or to mind kuds while you do. Don’t worry about the housework during the day….tidy up as required but don’t sweat just because you have visitors arriving. Do groceries on line.
Routine, Routine, Routine continue with everything else you do normally and organise playdates/coffee catch up with friends or family on the weekend.
Keeping in top of things but not sweating the small stuff 😊
By the time it feels “normal” hubby will almost/will be home again
Just do your best! Plan ahead and do fun things like beach or zoo trips. Cook extra and freeze and who cares if the kids have baked beans a few nights while dads away
Emma is the owner and founder of Baby Sleep Consultant, she is a certified infant and child sleep consultant, Happiest Baby on the block educator, has a Bachelor of Science, and Diploma in Education. Emma is a mother to 3 children, and loves writing when she isn't working with tired clients and cheering on her team helping thousands of mums just like you.
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