Diary of a first time Mum part 2
I’m 5 months into this crazy roller coaster ride that is motherhood and boy, what a ride!
There are moments of fun and excitement, moments of doubt and fear and moments where I would give anything to get off, even for a moment!
I look around at the other Mum’s on this ride with me and some are laughing, they are throwing their arms up in the air carelessly and seem to be enjoying themselves, others have their eyes closed tightly, they are screaming in terror and refuse to look forward for fear of what could be coming around the next bend and then there are the the silent ones who remain calm and collected, they may even smile, but if you look closer you can see their knuckles turning white as they tightly grip the seat belt.
Of course, not every day is the same, so I recognize myself in each one of these characters and what I have learnt about myself these past few months is how the judgement of others can very quickly change my state of mind.
Like the day I had to take my daughter to the hospital for an appointment, she was grizzly and I was anxious and after we struggled to find a parking spot I finally went to get her out the car only to realize I had forgotten her hat, I silently criticized myself for being so disorganized and allowed myself for a instant to think this moment defined my ability as a mother.
I wrapped her up in a blanket, held her close to my chest and we made a mad dash in the pouring rain, as I reached the shelter of the hospitals entrance a woman shook her head at me and called out “that baby should be wearing a hat!”.
I don’t think I need to explain how I felt in that moment, watching my feet I quickly and quietly scurried to our appointment.
In contrast, one evening we went out for dinner to celebrate my Mum’s birthday, I tried my best to eat one handed as I rocked the pram with the other, thankfully she had some sleep and was very well behaved, however, after a few hours she had woken and was quickly getting overtired, slightly embarrassed at the noise and ready to get her home and into bed I made a quick b-line for the door when a woman reached out and grabbed my arm, she smiled kindly at me and said “You did awesome, it’s never easy going out with a little one”.
The moral of the story is to be kind to one another, I'm not saying you need to rush over and high 5 a Mum whose toddler is having a meltdown in the supermarket but you also don’t need to judge her parenting.
Unlike a roller coaster everyone’s ride is so very different, our birth experiences and how we feed our babies, where they sleep or what they wear, sure there may be some similarities, but every baby is unique just as every mother is too so what works for one family may not be an option for another.
It doesn’t mean others are doing a better job it just means their difficulties lay elsewhere.
Let's just be nice to one another and kind to ourselves.
Kellie - Rotorua Baby Sleep Consultant
Kellie is a certified infant and child sleep consultant, registered early childhood teacher and new mum. She is Rotorua's only certified sleep consultant, and loves helping parents of new babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers.
Call Kellie on 027 461 9019 view her profile.