Stop the judging and the mum wars

Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before you judge them.

This is a powerful video demonstrating how damaging it is to be judging other people and especially mothers. There is so much judgement in the mum world. Whether its bottle vs breast, or working mum vs stay at home, and what resonates with us here at Baby Sleep Consultant, is the mums who judge other mums for sleep training, or getting help with their babies sleep.

You need to know the mum, you need to know her story before you can even begin to judge, and even then, assume goodwill, come from a place of empathy and understanding. Not judgement and hate.

The stories I hear from the parents who decide to sleep train, both break my heart and inspire me at the same time. They are stronger and more resilient than anyone judging them. The mums who have used 5 rounds of IVF to achieve their dream, and are now overcome with guilt because after 9 months they just can’t go on without sleep anymore. Yet they wanted this baby so badly…..They don’t need your judgement.

The mum who has post natal depression, yet hasn’t told her friends yet. She needs to sleep in order to overcome her depression, she doesn’t need your judgement.

The mum who is working and can’t function with the lack of sleep her 7 month old is causing now that he has started daycare and isn’t soothing as well as he used to. She is doing her best to support her family and function as the best mum she can. She doesn’t deserve to be judged.

Some mums choose to use gentle sleep training methods, and some mums chose more cry based methods. There is not right or wrong way to work on your baby or toddlers sleep. There is just the right way for your family, and judging another families decision to use a different technique to you, doesn’t make you a better parent. Or a better person.

Every time we judge another mother for their parenting decisions, we are closing our self off to a potential friendship, and missing the opportunity to have our lives enriched by meeting someone either in real life or virtually, who parents completely different to you.

Have empathy, have understanding, stop judging and be more open. Enjoy the video, and try not to cry!